Saaaaamson

May 23

Graduating soon.
And it felt like, I’m so old already.

I really admire Jonny as a very close senior to me. Well, he was there when I first entered secondary school, joined Boys Brigade and there I was under him, he being my squad leader. Then when he promoted, he was my platoon sergeant. We participated in Bible quiz and he was my team lead for two years, I think. Joined the Bagpipe band and aiya he was just there as my senior lah. Someone whom I could joke with, and kena takan like siao too.

When I came poly, I joined Primers. So called an advancement of Boys Brigade in tertiary level. He was there too! As my senior in CCA, and a senior in business school too. Went to his cellgroup a couple of zillion times. Participated 2009 NDP motivators with him being my team lead (again) yes.

Until he graduated two years ago, now probably gonna ord soon. Haven’t talked to him for years already. Okay, 2 years.

But being where he went before, I’m like kinda fail compared to him. I’d say he has impacted and inspired me in many great ways, as well as others. But when I’m at where he was, I felt I didn’t do as great as him.

I don’t feel the senior feel in me as I had when I looked up to him.

Alright. I’ve rant enough. Shall crash.

Hopefully graduation later would be great.

May 23

And here, of cos w my pretty senior! Think I’m slimmer back then.

May 23

Suddenly thought of jonny’s graduation, two years ago. Can’t believe two years just flew past like that. Compared to jonny, I think I don’t carry the senior feel as much as I had seen in him. Feels so fail.

May 17

I’ve got a hangover

The worst hangover ever.
The worst effects of being drunk.
Puked at least 5-8 times.
Guessed caused I ate double portions of dinner, just an hour before drinking.
I really hate puking :/

A drunken mind speaks a sober heart.

It was quite an interesting night,
Vic had to rescue me from the..
I wonder how did I end up there in the first place.
I literally blanked out after the phone call, and the next thing
I knew was vic flagging a cab for me.
But heng, according to him I was still able to walk.
I didn’t blanked out before. It was so terrible.

However, in the process of this drunk drinking,
I ruined a friendship.
Super regretful but I guessed nothing can undo it or salvage it anymore.

Perhaps there’s just too many deep rooted problems in my life that
I have never try to face it.

My life kinda sucks.

In light of my own deep personal life, I’m glad I have a few groups of friends whom
have grown with me. As well as some personal close friends whom I can rely on.

This week, I’m actually meeting/ have met 3 such big groups, awesome gathering.

A steamboat gathering with Colgate gang.
A birthday dinner for Serene w portion of the Sec sch gang; Serene, Z and Crystal.
A small clique inside Asus for drinking yesterday.
A movie, dinner and possible drinking date w the Sec sch gang tomorrow.
Asus gang to Old Airport Road on Saturday.

Hope the rest of the gatherings would be great.

Am currently still hangover :/

In 7 days time, I’d be officially graduating from Singapore Polytechnic.
Let’s hope it’ll be good.

是你带我找到另一个天堂, 远比想象中更美.
我们怀抱里的这一个天堂, 每一个梦想, 有无限的快乐.

May 12

Rereading messages, esp quarrels, after 7 months to realized what was actually the problem.

Due to certain situation, I had to restore my iPhone back to an earlier saved iOS version, and the most recent date I found was 14th oct 2011.

And baamz, everything just whack me down left right centre. Photos, texts.

I’m so sorry.
Continuous nonsensical quarrels and baazzming, I don’t understand them too. And as a matter of fact, it was just the start of it.. There’s still nov, dec, Jan, feb and march.

Self reproach? I guessed so.
Probably if I wasn’t so self centered, so.. Things would have been in a better light.

Once again, I’m just so sorry.

May 11

I want to bring my next lover to Bottle tree.. It was supposed to be you.. f. http://askunclefrank.blogspot.com/2012/05/bottle-tree.html

May 10

I miss being taken care of. I miss you.

Apr 30

Went in to talk box and there was this two short voice msges in there.
Dated back to 20 Oct.

It’s alr more than half a year, guess things just changes fast?

Hearing you say goodnight to me, would be one of e best things that happen to me.. Even now.

Hope you are doing fine.. flst

Apr 28

感情并不是先到先得，每抽必中，是你的就是你的，不是你的就不是你的，总得讲相配。 -女警爱作战 -第12集

Apr 20

Rants. #50 days left.

I need to rant rant rant.
So fed up lor.

Letter come already, 8th June 2012.
Totally fucked up my life can.

I don’t wanna leave WDA so soon.
It took me so many risks and uncertainty to finally secured a fairly high pay, public sector job. And it’s only for 3 months and I had to leave.

So not fair lor.
I really took alot of risks including rejecting a confirm job with Aberdeen Asset Management and other confirmed job, just to go for an interview with Singapore Workforce Development Agency.

Which idiot will forsake a confirm job for just an interview.
When WDA accepted me and gave me a pay higher than what I asked for,
It’s like super miracle can.

Although I don’t really mix w the people at WDA,
At least I feel part of the team there.
Really dw to leave..

Opportunity lost in income of $6k plus also.

Sigh.

Counting down, #50 days from today.

It’s only today that it dawned on me that I’m already grown up,
and should start maturing in my ways already.
Enlistment is the first step, Tekong and POP then ORD is the second.
After ORD in 2 years, it’s officially fully adulthood already.
Where it’s like it’s time to start a career path; time to make life changing decisions.

What to do?
Further studies or work?
Study what, work what.
Everything just auto pilot after decision is make.

Sigh.
I don’t wanna grow up.

I miss Primary and Secondary school, not limiting to Poly also.
Where I did many stupid things. Or rather, we did many stupid things.
Without considering any consequences.

Want fight jiu fight, want play jiu play.
Not happy w teacher just prank only.
dw study, pon sch, skip classes.
Secondary 3, go 2 days sch, have 3 days mc every week.

Sigh.

Hao bah, I feel btr alr.
Shall go sleep.